A few posts back, I posted the story of Ken, a gay man wth AIDS who was taunted for being "gross". This happened to Ken in the middle of San Francisco's Castro district, a gay "safe haven" Ken's tormenter was another gay man.
Two days ago I shared the story of a gay man who feels so rejected by the gay community
that he's cutting the community out of his life.
I've since been told that I'm a "homophobic bigot" for posting these stories and for speaking
out against an LGBT community that gives such behavior a free pass.
Of all the people who have told me this, not even one will say that they're sorry that two gay men have been treated so poorly within the gay community.
I'm being told that I'm a bigot by gay men who don't seem to care that a gay man with AIDS was told that he was "gross".
What's wrong with this picture?
Where's the compassion for our own people?
David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
Oct 2009
1 hour ago
Posts
5 comments:
I've already given up on my "community". Totally.
It is akin to inflicting self-harm when one attempts to connect with those who see you as "outside of" their group.....like a child who wants the love of a parent that they will never get. There comes a time to STOP seeking it, for sanity's sake.
I have found more solace and peace with my close friends, but absolutely none with the online "gay community", nor with my biological family.
Rare exceptions have been you, Nelson G, Natalie Davis, and some of the kind folks who have commented on and/or followed my blog. But most folks seem to find making judgements easier than feeling compassion.
We KNOW that the LGBTQ community is burdened with much more mental health issues than most, but it seems this is something ELSE well all have to be ashamed about.
You make a good point, John. I also have wonderful close friends.
It's not that I'm seeking "approval" from people who don't "like" me, it's that I'm tired of seeing LGBTs going to such extreme legnths to hurt each other.
If people don't speak up, then nothing will ever change for the better.
We're a very damaged people, and we need to face this sad fact so we can find a way to heal and perhaps one day become a real community.
I eventually came across your blog via twitter. I hope you will take the time to read what I have to say. I am not gay...I am a straight female. A very good friend of mine is transgender and one of my oldest sons best friends is gay. There are things that I have seen and heard that I do not understand. Why do so many in the gay community have such a problem with Transgendered people and bi-sexuals? And in your case, fellow homosexuals?
A couple years ago my youngest son was shocked when he heard racist comments coming from a black individual. He asked, "Why would they be racist when they know what it feels like to be hated?" My answer to him was that racism is not exclusively white. Ignorance is ignorance. Why the hell would anyone have any animosity towards one from their own community? They still have their own issues and feel the need to force them upon others? You'd think there would be more understanding. Some people think in order to feel better about themselves they have to put down others.
Anyway, that's my rant. I'm not very good at putting my thoughts down, so I hope you understood what I was trying to say.
Jeanette
Those reactions...well, some people will never examine themselves unless they have to. Sometimes too, as members of minority groups and people who have been hurt by majorities, we decide we have no real power to hurt anyone and/or that we have a free pass to say whatever mean things are on our minds. We absolve ourselves of personal responsibility. I guess what you write could be taken as "ammunition" by people who hate us for being queer, but pretty much anything we do or say can.
Maybe your work is helping to bring another kind of community together. I think of the first season of Heroes, when a cheerleader who was cast out of the popular group for being "weird" was elected homecoming queen. She is amazed. Her friend tells her, "The popular people aren't popular with everybody." In fact, with their cruelty, they made themselves very unpopular. And a majority of the other kids, who felt like outcasts, welcomed the opportunity to support another "outcast." I hope this makes sense to you.
I'm glad I visited today.
I wanted to thank the various people who stopped by these past few days to post supportive comments~~it means more than I can say!
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