Wayne Besen, founder of the gay activist/watchdog group Truth wins Out, has courage and guts.
So does Michael Airhart, news director for TWO's widely read website.
The two of them are among the few in the LGBT community who walk the walk and talk the talk.
They listen, they care, they report the truth, and they don't give LGBTs who work against the community's interests a free pass.
They do it with class and dignity, and have never once resorted to fighting or name calling, as so many LGBT activists do.
If we had more activists like Wayne & Michael, we might actually stand a chance of achieving full equality in this lifetime.
I'm learning not to repeat my past mistakes from them.
And so, I proudly present this op-ed piece that I wrote for the Truth Wins Out
site:
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/my-post-pride-dream-memories-observations-and-hopes-for-a-fragmented-community/
I wrote it after 35 years of constantly being subjected to abusive behavior from bitchy queens and angry dykes who equate "gay rights" with treating other LGBTs badly.
This culminated in my recent conflict with anti-gay hatemongers Kathryn Rock & Stephen Polich, who resorted to mail tampering, fraud and perjury so as to cause trouble between my former partner & me, and to isolate him from the gay community.
I cannot even begin to describe how it made me feel to have gay activists and gay rights groups tell me to "get over it'. Even worse,
several LGBT journalists intentionally misreported my story, and supressed my documentation.
One of those journalists actually taunted me about having done this.
Enough is enough.
I want a real community, where people listen, care, and support each other, as Michael and Wayne do at Truth Wins Out.
In the course of writing the op-ed, I found out that I'm far from the only one who feels this way. As you'll see when you read it, others are speaking up as well.
I hope that in breaking the ice and pointing out that what we're doing only serves to hurt our cause, that I'll inspire even more people to speak up.
Every time we treat each other poorly, every time we turn our backs on each other, we undermine our struggle for equality and give the religious right exactly what it wants.
David Alex Nahmod
SF CA
July 2009
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9 comments:
Nice post, but, don't forget that Wayne, not so sure about Mike, were once part of ex-gay movement. They helped feed the beast.
And that beast still thrives most because they haven't yet revealed all that goes on within those ministries or organizations.
Many of these people are still friends with the people who run those things.
And they're not going to do a goddamn thing about them because doing so will affect them financially too.
About what you wrote, I'd like to see that happen too, but, it won't.
And some of the reasons it won't are commenting to your column on TWO.
Wayne was part of the Ex Gay movement?
WOW!
That's news to me!
If it's true, then that makes him more than qualified to take the stands he does.
Long, long ago, in the Orthodox Jewish community I come from, there was an attempt by Esther Jungreis, a well known Rabbi's wife, to "cure" me.
She and her friends failed miserably~~I'm still a queer and aways will be.
But from that experience I can certainly verify many of Wayne's claims about ex-gay preachers~~whether Jewish or Christian, they're manipulative, dishonest predators.
As far as having a more loving, supportive community, one can only hope.
But I'm not holding my breath.
The "bitchy queens/angry dykes" refuse to change.
But I'm not going to be silent. Maybe I can have a small impact.
Wayne was part of the Ex Gay movement?
WOW!
That's news to me!
If it's true, then that makes him more than qualified to take the stands he does.
But has he? Ex-gay group holds conference. Ex Ex-Gay group holds their own conference. Ex-gay appears on CNN & FOX, Ex Ex-Gay appears on CNN & FOX.
Both ex-gay and ex ex-gay are for profit.
And, as you know, certain ex-ex-gays have been known to run interference on behalf of their former allies, including letting personal attacks go and threats themselves.
If you want that " more loving, supportive community" David, get your colleagues on TWO to admonish those two commenter's.
Hey NG: no disrespect meant to you, as I do agree with you a lot of the time.
But I think Wayne is absolutely right to go on the news shows and present the opposing arguments, otherwise Focus on the Family and Exodus are the only voices heard~~and that would not be good.
As far as getting paid to do what he does~~good for him!
He deserves that, and so do the rest of us, you & me included.
We all have to pay our rent.
Whether we serve Java at Starbuck's or do activism, we all deserve to be compensated for our work.
And I do too, which is why I take the time to promote and listen and read what he does.
But one can't say that they walk the walk or talk the talk while they're ignore the elephant in their room.
Neither Wayne nor I have been part of the ex-gay movement.
The closest Wayne ever came was when his parents received an ex-gay CD and shared it with Wayne. Wayne pointed out to them that the CD blames them for his sexual orientation, and that was the end of it -- his parents weren't stupid.
A few years earlier, I was a closeted celibate conservative gay man in college. Even in the mid-1980s, Christian youth magazines such as Campus Life promoted Homosexuals Anonymous and Exodus International political propaganda. I may have been conservative then, but I wasn't stupid: The ex-gay organizations' stereotypes, discrimination, parent-bashing, AIDS paranoia, logical fallacies, smug presumption of superiority, cherry-picking of religious values, and idolization of heterosexual sin were all utterly immoral and inhumane then -- and now.
As for profit -- TWO has only one employee (Wayne) and barely breaks even. Because of the recession and overall decline in philanthropy, TWO is limited to just a couple of small events per year. I certainly hope that the recession eases, as none of the major LGBT pro-equality groups are actively challenging the religious right.
Thanks for clearing that question up, Michael.
TWO is doing what needs to be done~~the behavior of the religious right needs to be exposed for what it is.
The harm done by ex-gay ministries are
just one of the many reasons we in the LGBT community need to stand together.
David:
You even mentioned in your movie "Next Year in Jerusalem" 10+ years ago "Why do we need the religious right when we have each other [to tear each other to shreds]" [paraphrased]. I am not surprised by any of this, however, I feel as you do, that there is FAR too much infighting in the gay community, and that is why *I* keep my distance, and I am fairly certain I am not the only one. Your comments were so "right-on" that I even shared them with the pastor of my church, an "Open and Affirming" congregation within the United Church of Christ, which is considered quite "liberal" by many. I shared it as he is a very "out" gay man, and I wanted him to see that not every one who is same-gender oriented affiliates with the community.
Thanks for sharing that, David. Please don't stop speaking up. Yours is the only voice many of us have who must stay in the background, for various reasons.
[BTW, I was the man who wrote a note to you (from a different email address) a few months ago, thanking you for your creation of the movie. It was - and still is - inspirational.]
Thanks, Furrbud, I think I recall your email.
(-:
RE: NG: I'm aware that he's had conflicts with others in the blogosphere~~I've heard from both sides privately.
It sure runs deep on both sides!
But I've also seen both sides do good work at their respective sites.
In the spirit of what I wrote in my op-ed, I hope that the two sides can find a common ground.
We're all fighting for the same rights & need each other.
Anything I can d to help the two sides talk, and I'm there!
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